Underdeveloped Characters are Easy to Write for
by cheeseweasel
Summary: Generation X villains, The New Hellions go about events on a weekend after the comic book came to a close
1. In which the characters are introduced

UNDERDEVELOPED CHARACTERS ARE EASY TO WRITE FOR  
The second installment in CheeseWeasel's storyline  
written by  
Cheeseweasel  
  
" Once upon a time there were two neighbors in Britain. They cut their lawn at exactly the same height. They were friendly neighbors because they had exactly identical lives. One day the price of petroleum products were inflated. Since neither person wanted to spend extra money, they let the grass in between their lawns grow and neither person would cut it. Eventually the grass grew high enough that the two neighbors became bitter enemies to one another. The first neighbor bought a push mower that did not run on gasoline. Then he realized it was brutally difficult to operate. Realizing that he had wasted dozens of valuable monetary units, the first neighbor committed honorable suicide. The second neighbor, enraged by paranoia, decided to napolm the first neighbors house." "Uncle Wrap what does napalm mean?" " For one thing, it's spelled incorrectly. But, it is when styrofoam is set on fire to release hazardous gases. Now can we get on with the story? Anyway the second neighbor, enraged with paranoia, decided to napolm the first neighbor's house. As the first neighbor was walking through the long grass in between the two properties, the first neighbor was bitten several times by multiple rats and other disease-carrying lawn rodents. The bites caused the first neighbor to fall into the long grass and his already lit napolm set the grass ablaze. The poisonous chemicals from the napolm, The disease and blood loss from the rodents, and the scorched tissue incurred from the blaze ultimately led to the second neighbors demise. The two neighbors negative ki flowed into and led to the imbalance of the universe. However the coroner was quite impressed with the neighbors' deaths. And in the end, aren't we all just laughter for our coroners. Well, young nephew, that was a truly decent children's story. Hold on a minute, I've got to go get the phone." " Hello. Oh, hi Bulwark. You and Murmur are gonna be at the bar on 52nd Street. No, I can't. I've gotta babysit for my sister. Yeah, she says it's hard to find someone to trust in Dark Alley. So where's Vincente and Nocturine? Trying to build some romantic tension to prolong the run of the series. Yeah, I guess I better say the disclaimer now. Bye" "Disclaimer: The writer of this story does not receive any money for this. The characters, for the most part, belong to Marvel comics, specifically the now defunct title Generation X. If you were to give money to the writer for this piece, it would set him or her back financially more than he or she could possibly afford. If he or she were to receive money for this piece, the following companies would have to receive royalties: Marvel Comics, McDonald's food services, Walmart,.Walmart, how and why are we going to mention Walmart in these following two to five days. I'm not reading the rest of this list; it's depressing the hell out of me. Anyway here comes the title." Emplate's New Hellions in. Underdeveloped Characters are easy to Write For The second installment in CheeseWeasel's storyline "But the first one available to the general public." " That's right nephew. Now it's time for the opening credits while an appropriate but highly overplayed song plays behind the pictures of the cast." Wrap as Wrap. Nocturine as Nocturine. Vincente as Vincente. Bulwark as Bulwark. Murmur as Murmur. DOA as DOA. Emplate as Emplate. With guest stars most of Generation X and a cameo role by Danny DeVito. A road. A car. The same four-door sedan af Nocturine's that was introduced last chapter. Two people rather enamored with each other are in this car. "You know sometimes I'm green and sometimes I'm purple. It all depends on the lighting" "Yeah, well. In the right lighting. Hey look at this asshole." Tires screech at an intersection. Vincente gets out of the car. He goes up to the opposing car. Taps on the window. " Why don'tcha watch the fucking road..Hey, I know you." "You tell them, Vinny." Shrieks Nocturine. " Hey watch your mouth, vato." "What does vato mean?" "I dunno." " That's one of your Marvel words. Isn't it, Skin? Is that what Marvel pays you for now? To try to get in car accidents, and run your fake slang words into sentences whenever some guy comes and yells at you? Is that what Marvel pays you for now?" " We should fight and btw Marvel released us." " What is it with you people? Do you think we are twisted evil fiends all the time? And by the way, Emplate's quest was noble. He just wanted to eat. Didn't think about that? And why does something like this happen every time I try to take a nice romantic drive with my girlfriend?" "Sorry, man. I guess I don't have to use the language anymore. And what's so romantic about a drive?" "We're doing our best to stay under an NC-17 rating. It's not our best work but sadly it's what we have to do. Hell, we may even have to delete some scenes. Hey, is that Jubilee in there with you?" "Yup, we were going to LA, but sadly we ran out of toll money. Oh, and we have Ev's corpse in our trunk." "Well then, where do you keep your luggage?" " In the back seat. What are you nuts or something?" "Ev was a New Hellion for a while. Hey, why don't we have a death party for him? You two can stay at Wrap's apartment. It's thew only location suitable for living that is developed so far." "Well, we were going to stay at Walmart Super Center parking lot. But Wrap might have food we can mooch off of him." "It's on the corner of chestnut and 33rd. Here I'll write the apartment number down. Welcome to Dark Alley, Angelo and Jubilee." "Thanks, man." "No problem." Meanwhile, at the bar at 52nd street. The band is playing Sam Cooke. " I'm telling you, Bulwark. If it were up to me, I'd be the one dating Nocturine instead of Vincente." Says Murmur. " Are you sure it's safe to date someone from work? Would you be able to keep your romantic relationship at a low enough MPAA rating level?" asks Bulwark. "Sure, onscreen." Bulwark gives Murmur a soft brotherly shove on the shoulder. Murmur falls off his stool. " Bulwark, the crowd is rough tonight. We're probably going to have to kill someone." "Rock, Paper, Scissor, Shoot. Damn." Bulwark has lost the game. " Don't worry, buddy. You'll get to kill someone later." The crowd was rough. The lead drunk took a swing at murmur with a broken bottle. Murmur's eyes rolled back in his head. He opened his teleportal (teleportation portal do I have to spell it out for ya) at the drunk's solar plexus and quickly closed it again. He then opened a teleportal over the drunk's head. The drunk's legs and lower torso hit him in the head. This caused the drunk to fall down and his own dead legs choked him mercilessly. "You know that technique is surprisingly less bloody than I expected." Says Bulwark. " I know. Everybody says that. Let's get outta here. Wanna grab a bite?" "Sure, I could eat." Bulwark and Murmur leave the 52nd Street Bar. Some time later, The McDonalds on 44th. "Two medium number 3's." "8.88." They wait at the counter for their quarter pounder with cheese meals. "Other places have better waiting areas. I mean we've got to be pissing off the people behind us." "There are no people behind us." "It's a hypothetical statement, Bulwark." They get their food. They fill up their drinks with Coca-Cola Classic. The left-most fountain. There are two fountains of Coca-Cola Classic at this McDonalds. "We get the same thing every time we come here." " Well, it's better than the inverse." "And what would that be?" "Filet O Fish Supersize Meal with the right-most fountain Coke." "You're right. The Coke on the right is always watery. And I cant eat a supersize fry. And I'm about 6'8." The corner of Chestnut and 33rd. Wrap's building. The elevator. " Is that a 7 or a 1." " Only one way to find out." Knocking. "Hello." "That can't be Wrap." "Wrap is my name. You're Skin and Jubilee, right." " You look different." " Well, it has been a couple of years and I'm not in my costume." "That was a costume." "Yeah. Do you know how hot that suit is. I'd need to be crazy or at least masochistic to wear it outside of work in the dog days of summer. So whatcha doing here?" "We've come to live off of you, at least until Ev's death party." "Ev's dead?" "Yeah. We have his corpse in our trunk." "Why?" "Well, obviously he wouldn't fit in the glove compartment." "I should've rephrased that. Why are you carrying his corpse around?" " Because theteamwasdisbandedandweweretheonegoingclosesttost.louisandweranoutoftollmon eybeforewegottost.louisandwealmostcrashedintonocturineandvinnyandtheytoldust ocometoyourplace." "Ok, come in and explain it slowly." Later that night, "Okay, so you are saying that we're having a party to celebrate" " remember" "ok, remember Ev's death at my apartment. And you've known about this for 3 hours and you're just telling me now." "Yep, pretty much." This scene has been deleted. Important things that happened in this scene are: Wrap's nephew leaves and the Danny DeVito cameo happens. Meanwhile, Bulwark and Murmur are elsewhere, talking. " So, in a death party do you get the dead guy a gift?" " No, but I think you have to bring something for the other participants to eat. I'm thinking of making ramen." "Why ramen?" "Well, everybody loves ramen." "I'm allergic to ramen. And, just a reminder viewing audience, this is bad CBS reference one. Look for others." "Well, aren't you special." Meanwhile, Vinny is calling the remaining members of GenX. "No, it's not a funeral. It's a death party. No, not a wake either. Death party. Death P-A- R-T-Y. Bring a gift? Well, I guess it all depends on how much you like the deceased." Intermission. Commercial break. Whatever you want to call it. The later, Wrap's apartment. All characters introduced and not yet killed are present, excluding Wrap's extended family. Vincente say, " Hi, for all those in the viewing audience. During the time in which you were supposed to not be watching, There was a heated argument between Wrap and Jubilee about who belonged to the better generation. Angelo interjected that since he was born in the gap between the two generations that he should be the moderator. Skin as the voice of reason, you won't find that in any of the "good" fanfics. A question was brought up about DoA wearing his hat outside of work which was later contributed to the fact that he has constantly bad haircuts. Kinda makes me glad I can't grow hair. Oh, you didn't notice that I didn't have eyelashes. Well you would if I was one of your main characters. Later, we talked about how my tattoos are inconsistent and how we are all afraid to go out of the area outside the streets ranging from 30th to 70th. But this was CheeseWeasel's script, so you know the writing couldn't be that great. Now, we're going to call The Sign at Rising Sons headquarters in Madripoor because It's probably Monday already where they are." "And you're going to use my phone? You better reimburse me when the bill arrives." Says Wrap. The following paragraph will be divided into two parts; Here and Madripoor. Here, "Hello, could you forward me to The Sign." Madripoor, "Hello?" Here, "Hi, Paul." Madripoor, "Oh, Vincente. What a pleasant surprise." The Sign rolls his eyes. Here, "I have better tattoos then you." Madripoor, "Sure you do, and your teammates are original and not a cheap capitalistic Omega Red, a Domino with energy blasts, a mummified Nightcrawler, a short zombie, and a super-strong German. Really bloody original." Here, outside the phone, "Hey, he just insulted you guys." On the phone, " Yeah but it's better than your team, and by the way, It took three (3) issues for us to make our debut. And it only took you two (2) issues to debut. And we're recurring characters." Vincente sticks out tongue and pulls on eyelid. Madripoor, "I hear that the next SSV convention is in Dark Alley." Here, "Yup, Are you coming? It's the first time the Society of Super Villains has met in Dark Alley." Madripoor, " Yeah, we'll be there. I'd better get back to work. Talk to you later, bud." Here, "All right, Bye." Click. "You were awfully long winded for using someone else's long distance minutes. The Party to celebrate Ev's death. The people currently living in Wrap's apartment plus Vinny, Nocturine, Murmur, DoA and Bulwark are already there. A big steamy pot of Ramen is on the counter, along with chips, beer, soda, and pizza. A pot of coffee is being made. Ev's corpse is sprawled out on the sofa that Bulwark helped move from Wrap's parent's house. The coffee gets done. "Who wants a cup?" asks Wrap, pouring one for himself. Jubilee says, "Sure." "It'll stunt your growth." Says Wrap. "No, it won't." "Yes, it'll." " I spent over 16 years in Marvel comics as a character, nothing could possibly stunt my growth any more than it has been already." "You have a point." People start arriving. Jono arrives first with a decent-sized box under his arm. Nocturine says, "Hey, it's Liquid Leather Jacket." {My name is Jono. You're the lady who wears the 2 with serifs dress, aren't you?} " 'Fraid so." Says Nocturine. Emplate arrives. " Hi, boss" says most of the population. " Hello." Everyone else arrives except Paige, because she didn't leave a mailing address when she left in 75, and Penance, because she is afraid of Emplate. Party conversation. "Hey, Emma." Wrap says, "real blonde." He points to his head. Emma flashes him a finger. Elsewhere in the room. " Hey, where's the kid who turned into the ground?" Bulwark said that. "Well, it turns out we never knew him. And according to a different story by CheeseWeasel that hasn't been typed up yet, Mondo was sold to the Hellfire Club by Cordellia, who in turn sold him to Black Tom Cassidy. Black Tom had a deadly herbal symbiosis and seeked Spiral of The Body Shoppe to cure him. So he gave Mondo to her. But, Black Tom gets custody of Mondo Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other weekend." "Okay, What happens on holidays?" Later. " So, Jono, how has it been as an Xman?" {To be honest, I haven't been paying attention. Most of my scenes are done by a double. You'd be surprised to see how many people will light themselves on fire to get into comic books}. " I thought it was not fire but bionuclear energy" {It is but Marvels theory is the fans can't tell the difference.} The gifts. Jono got Ev a helmet. It could be useful since Ev dies during bombs. Nocturine got Ev a Foreman grill. But, Wrap would not allow a gas grill in his apartment. He says that charcoal-grilled things taste better. Most of the others got him cash or lottery tickets, others thought it was unintelligible to buy dead people gifts. The important conversation. "It's too bad our title was cancelled. Or else Ev could have been resurrected." Vincente-"We could resurrect him but it would require us to go to (dramatic music) 28th Street." Jubilee (to M)-" You know when Ev is alive again, you don't stand a chance. Because no one would associate with any relative of their boss." M-"Damn." Don't you hate: To Be Continued. The Letters page: No letters currently In the next installation of New Hellions: Will the New Hellions overcome their fear of 28th Street? Will Ev be resurrected? Why will they wax Ev's head? Will Skin and Jubilee become regular characters? Plus, A whole lot less Wrap's nephew. 


	2. In which the plot occurs

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Marvel Comics. Not for resale a 15% gratuity will be charged for parties of 6 or more. Slightly jubilee- Synch shippy. Rather Vincente/Nocturine shippy.  
  
Tired Overdone storyline Part 3  
Or Underdeveloped characters are Easy to write for: The sequel part I  
  
CheeseWeasel  
  
In case you were unaware, The story so far, important parts anyway, is: The New Hellions as pacifists, working 8 hour days for Emplate, in a fictitious  
city called Dark Alley, Which is located somewhere between The Massachussetts Academy and St. Louis Missouri. Jubilee and Skin en route to Los Angeles, run out of toll money and have to take slower roads where they bump into some of the New Hellions. Explanation of the relevant parts of the last thirteen issues of the generation X comic book. Throw a party in memory of Ev Thomas. Decide to go to different section of town to resurrect Ev and make him a superhenchman again like back in the days of issue 15.  
Now, on to the new stuff.  
  
The setting is Wrap's apartment, because it's where everyone was at the end of last chapter. " What are we waiting for?" Asks Jubilee impatiently. "What we are waiting for is for Nocty to find her keys so we can go down to(dramatic music) 28th Street And resurrect our friend Ev Thomas."Says Bulwark, looking spiffy with his newly grown goatee. "We brought a car. Did you forget about that." "No, But it'd just complicate the story. And you don't know you're way around Dark Alley yet. So it would be bothersome for you to drive." "I found them"  
  
Driving around Dark Alley. This would be an ideal time for you to do intermission type things. Nothing is happening that could influence the story. Conversations are dull to non-existent. Ok, here comes 28th Street.  
  
"Here it is." A stone building Gray and obscurely built into a rather quadrilateral figure. "The Temple of the Royal Order of Condemned Mercy Nuns" Bulwark and Wrap unload Ev from the trunk. Bulwark begins to speak "I'm sorry, guys, But I can't go in with you. You know how I feel about stained glass." Murmur places his hand on Bulwark's shoulder. "Nobody's expecting you to do anything you don't want to do." The others enter.  
  
"Can someone give me a hand carrying Ev. The dead are hard to maneuver."- Wrap "It's called Rigor Mortis, buddy. Vinny, give him a hand." "The ones who can help us are down this stairway if I'm not mistaken. So they're walking down the stairway. It would be cruel to make the stairway spiral. Then Ev's body would be all bruised when he regains life.  
  
Let's check on Bulwark. Bulwark is outside stroking his goatee and pacing back and forth, frantically avoiding the stain glass windows. He spots us. "Hey, I've seen you before. I was looking at some signs. There's one called Father and Son Exterminators. I don't want me and my father exterminated. Or what about Wrap's nephew and brother-in-law. It'd suck if they were exterminated. Why, you ask? Well, during Thanksgiving time. All of us, get together at Wrap's apartment and play dice and poker and gin and stuff. Wrap's brother-in-law loses all the time. Honestly, I owe a great deal of my pocket change to those games. Jubilee might be leaving, I hear that Marvel wants her back. But she couldn't miss seeing Ev alive again. Wanna talk about Vincente? Sure, cool. He doesn't really wear any clothes most of the time. Well, how could he, he transforms into mist. I want to know how he gets his 7-11 items when he goes home from work. No shirt and No shoes and all that garbage. He and Nocty are cute together don't you think. Thanks for talking to me. It makes me feel better being below 30th street and all of that." Enter easily defeated enemy gang. Somehow in Dark Alley, everyone has a knife. So Bulwark gets cut in the side. Bulwark takes the cutting guy's head in his hand and squeezes tight. Snap. Crackle. Pop. Other enemies back away. Would you let a bleeding gory-handed friend into your car? The plot thickens.  
  
Back inside. The Condemned Mercy Nuns are doing their happy resurrection dance. Fine, you do better. Ev is resurrected. He is groggy from his journey from Limbo and his pigment hasn't returned fully yet from being dead for so long. Jubilee hugs him. He falls over. All that Ev and Jubilee Romance Novel stuff that could possibly happen when one is resurrected from the dead in the subterranean basement of The Temple of the Royal Order of Condemned Mercy Nuns.  
  
Everyone goes back to the car. Bulwark finds a local restaurant and washes his hands. Nocty still wont let him in her car to bleed all over the nice cloth upholstery. He walks home Everyone else goes back to Wrap's apartment. Marvel employees pick up Jubilee. Good bye, Jubilee. Turns out The New Hellions don't have to wax Ev's head after all.  
  
Tune in for Our next Exciting Episode. 


End file.
